Why is it my teenage daughter will not listen to me? I KNOW, beyond a doubt, that I am not the smartest or wisest person around, but I have a little experience and something to say. I feel like if I died tomorrow, that girl would not know who I am. I mean... yeah, she knows - but would she implement everything I tried to teach her?
Here are a few things that I'd want her to know:
1. People are not always going to treat you kindly or fairly, heck they may even be cruel. Instead of feeling resentment and hatred, feel compassion for that other person - you never know the life they've lead or circumstances they are dealing with. Discard any negative feelings immediately. It turns people ugly and mean.
2. Just because I believe number one, and think you should, doesn't mean you should let people walk all over you either. There are people out there who are "going to get theirs". Don't get in a pissy match with them, but stand your ground and have respect for yourself. Stand tall, walk tall, head held high. You are an amazing person. You are unique and the stories and life you've lived make you a gem and a treasure. I believe this of almost any person who is trying to live life right and within the social norm.
3. There is a time and a place for everything. Don't wait until you're 34 to fall over drunk at your aunt's house thinking you're in a sorority in college. Just saying! If you're going to have pink highlights and feathers in your hair (which I think are very cool), don't do it when you have a job interview at a financial company - for example.
4. Looks are important, and whether you like it or not, people will judge you based on your looks. Every once in a while, look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself, "What does my haircut/color/style say about me? What does my outfit say about me? What does my hygiene say about me?" It's okay to be self-expressed and colorful in your clothing (it's better than expressing yourself in tattoos, which are permanent.) There's just that (back to number 3) there's a time and a place for everything. If you dont' know what your looks are saying about you, ask someone you trust.
5. Do what you love, always, unapologetically. Do what truly inspires and motivates you. But be watchful of vices and unhealthy habits.
6. Friends and advice are wonderful and amazing blessings from God, but they're not ALL good . Be aware and careful of the advice you hear and receive. Let God guide you.
7. Take care of your family, always. They won't necessary like it or appreciate it all the time - especially siblings. But you do it anyway. Like my good friend, Katrysse tells her kids, "Love each other, protect each other, and take care of each another".
8. People will always have something to say, they'll always have opinions. You may find yourself in the center of one of these "controversies" some day. Know that since people will talk anyway, you can feel free to give them something to talk about. Be the diva at the party. Be the princess. Be the rockstar. Be whatever it is you want to be. Let them talk. I love the saying, "every truly happy person is somewhat delusional." Be delusional! But always remember first to be kind, be polite, be courteous, be respectful. Remember to make your momma proud, "if your mom could see... would she beam with pride, roll her eyes, or hide for shame?"
9. Follow the commandments. Or at very minimum Jesus' great commandment, which encompasses all of them anyway. Matthew 22:35-40.
10. Lady Gaga was brilliant only once, when she said, "don't be a drag, just be a queen." And she's right. No one likes a person with a bad attitude. But every woman should feel like a queen. Buy the dress, buy the shoes, wear the accessories, go on the vacation that you've been dreaming of. If someone unexpectedly pops up with a camera, flash your best smile! Paparazzi! Decorate your home like cameras are going to roll through any minute. Live huge.
11. When you choose a man to marry... you are marrying into his family, lifestyle, and choices. His problems become your own. Respect him and the life he's lived as well as the one he's meaning to live. Make sure he feels the same way about you. We marry once. That divorce crap is nothing to mess around with. It hurts people, especially when there are kids involved. It doesn't mean it doesn't have to happen sometimes or that it's not better for some people, but that's why you don't rush into marriage either. (Now, I don't want people getting all mad with me about this point, but if I wish any type of marriage for my children is the lifelong, healthy, nurturing, loving, respectful, and forever kind.)
12. When you raise your children, remember everything we've talked about. Raise them the way Wita would have raised them. Like it or not, you are your mother's daughter, and I'm mine. And I'm even present to being grandma's child. We're more alike that we know.
13. Don't live in fear.
14. Workout, and don't eat junk. If you love yourself, you'll take care of yourself. Don't forget to dance.
15. Of course there's more for me to say... there always is. Be patient with your mother. For now... isn't this such a great start? And I'm at the point where I'm repeating myself. So, I'll let it go for now.
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